a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.
you just know when someone in customer service says “thank you for your patience!!!!” they’re fighting for their lives that day
Note: It may also translate to “I swear to christ if the lazy motherfuckers in the back don’t come HELP WITH THE GODDAMNED LINE IN THIS PUBLIX DELI AT 2PM ON A SUNDAY I’m going to beat them all to death with this Boar’s Head Deluxe Branded Ham® please sir/ma'am/friend go complain about them at the customer service counter I will give you their fucking names personally.”
